33 Things They Forget To Tell You About SummerCamp
by Titan Rebel
Summary: A list compiled by a daughter of Hermes on random facts that Percy failed to mention about Camp Half-Blood and the demigods in it. Rated for language.


**R&R please. Just a one-shot, but I will update upon request.**

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><p><strong>33 Things They Forget to Tell You About Summer Camp<strong>

Let me get one fact clear about half-bloods; we're not all Percy Jackson. Sure, he goes to Camp Half-Blood, as do I, but that doesn't mean that I'm going to save the world any time soon, few of us ever will.

Who am I? Just your average run-off-the-mill daughter of Hermes. My friends call me Penny though. I came to camp when I was thirteen, got claimed within the week; no big deal. I've never performed a single heroic dead in my life, the only time I was on a quest was as a back-up for this kid that had to a background check on the security dude for the Empire State building. Like I said; nothing extravagant. I live at Camp Half-Blood in the summer months and with my mom in New Jersey the rest of the year.

Anyways, that's enough about my boring life; let's get to the meat of it all. So, you've read the books, you've seen the movie, and now you're an expert on a half-blood's life, right? Wrong! I had some free time this summer what with the war being over and all (not to mention an unplanned stay in the infirmary) and I decided to ditch my sibling's practical jokes for a bit to…as Athena kids put it, "Broaden my educational horizon." In other words, to figure out what goes on around camp and on quests that people _don't _talk about.

So here's a list I compiled of 33 things they forget to tell you about summer camp:

**1) **SHOWERS: Now, I think Percy mentioned something about getting good shower times if you do awesome on inspection, but you have _no idea._ Being in the Hermes cabin we _never_ get the best shower times and therefore have _freezing_ water. I know they say cold showers are suppose to be good for your hair, but they forget to mention that your body freezes up until you're a human popsicle. Not to mention the fact that more girls tend to use their shower times more so then the guys, so yeah, talk about a bad time.

**2) **GETTING IN SHAPE: It's a funny thought; a hero coming to camp and not being able to out-run a monster, but believe me it's true. Not everybody that comes to camp is a body-builder. You actually have to _work _to get in shape. It's not like everybody can scale the rock wall on his or her first try (I know, I didn't). Training _sucks_ and is stupendously tedious and half the times you come back to your cabin drenched in sweat and every muscle in your body is throbbing. Let's just say that I won't let myself get out of shape ever again, cause getting back in shape _sucks!_

**3) **HUMIDITY: I'm sure you're aware of the camp's magical protection that keeps out even the weather, but that's only at camp. I've a few friends that have been on quests where it gets so humid you don't want to move another foot, let alone fight off monsters. Then there's the problem of being an asthmatic (again, something I suffer from) and the impacts that the humid air has on your breathing. Some kids even die because of lack of oxygen. I can only imagine how much that would _suck!_

**4) **FINDING YOUR FORTE: Usually it's with discovering what you excel in that your godly parent is discovered, but what happens when you're claimed before you get to find your bravado? I won't say it happened to me, being a kid of Hermes you usually don't have intense combat skills, but it happened to my friend in the Apollo cabin. The little gold sun appeared over her head and everybody was like 'Oh great, try archery, you'll be great.' So what happened; she tried archery and she was good, better than me by a long shot but nowhere near the precision of the top archers. It was literally months before it was discovered that she has _phenomenal _healing powers, beyond the likes of which I've ever seen.

**5) **ALLERGIES: This tends to be forgotten by most people, but half-bloods do have allergies just like everybody else. They expand on everything from animals, to plants, to medicines, to blood itself, to even the sun. I know you're probably thinking, 'Nobody can be allergic to blood _or _the sun." Well I guess I prove you wrong my friend. Blood is just a certain protein thing in it that I react to, but not my own blood. (If I were to go into every detail I'd be sitting here for weeks. And trust me, having ADHD, that's _not_ happening.) Anyways, the sun…I get hives…the Apollo kids think I'm a freak for it, but whatever.

**6) **DRUGS: This can be taken in two ways; medical or illegal. At camp, we deal with them both. Although we tend to keep the illegal bit hushed from Chiron and Mr. D, but trust me when you meet some of the crack-heads it's _not _fun, especially when they're armed.

**7) **RULE-BREAKING: Being in Cabin Eleven I see this quite a lot, and truly I'm involved a little more than I'd like to admit. So, I guess you're wondering at least one of two things; what type of pranks do we pull, and what are the consequences? The pranks are _kinda _top-secret; meaning if I told you all of them my siblings would pull an extra-special one on me. As for the consequences (if you get caught) are everything from mucking out the pegasi stables to feeding the dragon atop Half-Blood Hill, and he's not as friendly as he looks (I know from experience).

**8) **LOOKS: I figure it's mostly thought that us at camp don't think much of our appearance except for their beauty queens across the lane. But the truth is we all care at least a bit. I have a small stash of make-up that I jacked–I mean–bought at a drug store, but what with the rush to breakfast in the morning and the fights for the bathroom I rarely use it. I got a few tips from a friend in Cabin Ten; how to wear my hair up so it's out of my face but still attractive, and what creams to use to manage the colour in my cheeks. I know some chicks that try to coat on the makeup everyday only to find they have raccoon eyes by nightfall.

**9) **COUPLES: You probably think that most of us have that special someone at camp, but that's only true for a few. Some couples tend to keep it a secret for fear of getting teased, Conner Stoll and Katie Gardener to name a pair (he's probably gonna kill me for that…oops). Then there's those that have a significant other outside of camp, but those get…complicated, and not to mention dangerous. Then there's people like me; no boyfriend, not even an ex, but I don't fret much over it; why have one guy when you can flirt with them all?

**10) **TECHNOLOGY: I think we can all agree on one thing; being a teenager these days is _not _easy, especially without the use of technology. Now, typically at camp we don't use technology, seeing as cell phones tend to get us killed, and e-mails aren't that different, same goes for video chat. Here is where the bonus comes from being a child of Hermes. My siblings and I tend to have a knack for bringing stuff into camp the typically isn't allowed. So, to answer your question; Do we go completely without technology at camp? For most the answer is yes, unless you know where to look. Like right now, for instance, I've gained access on the Mac. But I'm not sure how long I'll get so to continue on…

**11) **FOOD: I realize that whenever Percy mentioned his meals he would typically say that they were mostly comprised of barbeque and pizza. However, the meals switch up quite a lot and sometimes you can even make special requests. And truthfully the food isn't really delicious all the time. Hey, when you gotta` keep an army of demigods fit for battle; it won't always be this tasty fast-food business. Aw man, what I wouldn't give for a nice greasy bucket of KFC and gravy…Sorry, off topic, back to the list.

**12) **GLASSES: You're probably thinking that glasses are an easy fix right? Just get some contacts and you're good, but what if you can't _afford _contacts or are too busy running for your life to _get _contacts? There's not a lot to say on this topic other than they're a pain in the butt. I mean; fighting a monster with any more than two arms and your peripheral vision is blocked by your glasses frame, _not_ fun.

**13) **SUNBURNS: Yes, they do happen. Let's just say that for someone like me you just gotta` pack on the sunscreen or get toasted, even though the boundaries block the weather they let the sun in. Not to mention the Apollo kids like to torment those that get sunburns. Of course, they're one to talk, their dad's the sun god so _obviously _they're immune to the sun. Bunch of prats!

**14) **EDUCATION FOR YEAR-ROUNDERS: Here's a question that arises more than you'd think at camp. 'If I stay year round, how do I get educated on normal stuff?' Well, the answer varies for each camper's situation. Not being a year-rounder myself I had to ask around to get this answer for you guys, and this is what I've gathered. If someone really can't survive in the outside world no matter what then that's easy; home–school with Chiron! But if you're just staying year-round for yucks you can either go to school during the day and come back to camp every afternoon, do night-school, or online works too. Then there are always correspondence courses. Like I said, it all depends.

**15) **OUT-TRIPS: Yes, they exist! I've taken part in these a number of times. What happens is you venture out into the forest, set up camp quite a ways away from the camp, and you hope monsters don't eat you. Just another night at Camp Half-Blood.

**16) **RAIN: Although the camp has magical boundaries to keep out the weather it's a fact of life that plants need rain. So considering that camp resides of off strawberry sales to pay for our expenses Chiron lets in the odd shower. Personally, I like them; they help me sleep at night.

**17) **ARGUMENTS WITH CHIRON: This is one thing that I do NOT recommend. I've had multiple disagreements with our activities director and it ends with either a severe punishment or just a never-ending torment given by Chiron himself. The later of which I have definitely received.

**18) **SHOPPING: Just like pretty well every other girl in the world I do enjoy the odd shopping trip once in awhile, and I'm not the only one at camp. Sometimes we'll get a small group of us, typically one person from every cabin, and Argus will come with us on a trip to the mall. Sometimes we'll go to really expensive places, but typically we enjoy thrift shopping; it's cheap and you get great stuff. It's not always the most chill of days, we get the odd monster attack, but _usually_ everyone comes back alive.

**19) **MAGICAL ARMOR: Now I know that in one of Percy's books he mentioned _something_ about magical armor; clothes that turn into armor, camouflage armor, whatever. Well, I'll put to rest the rumors and tell you that _yes, _such things do exist, and they're _not_ fun to fight against. The Hephaestus kids have been working on various forms of magical armor throughout the years and, as I sadly discovered during the latest capture the flag game, they succeeded. Because of that little advantage of theirs, they bested me and I've spent the past week in the infirmary (purely accidently, of course).

**20) **UNEXPECTED POWERS: So pretty well you think the main powers of demigods reside in the children of gods such as Poseidon, Hades, Zeus, maybe Ares and the odd Apollo, but you have _no idea _how wrong you are. Tell me, have you ever found yourself dangling by a thin vine from the peak of the tallest tree at camp? If the answer if no, then I advise you to not pester the Demeter cabin. Or if you like the way you look, don't insult the Aphrodite kids.

**21) **UNDEAD SURPRISES: Unfortunately, it does happen. I guess the last time skeletons rose from the grave it was partially my fault, but only because I was following the Stoll's orders. We _kinda`_ were getting back at Nico for dissing up the Hermes cabin, saying that we were a bunch of useless slobs. So, we were just having some fun, you know, tying his sword to the tail of a scorpion in the forest. But, of course he took it personal and sent a round of skeletons into Cabin Eleven one night. It took everything to get him to send them away. Some things of which I regret.

**22) **CLIMBING TREES: I'll admit, this is definitely an activity I take part in, but do me a favor and keep that between us. It's a pretty normal hobby for kids, but when you're at camp with all those trees it's even more exciting and you sometimes have no choice but to bustle up a pine or something. However, the nymphs aren't the biggest fans of us when we climb atop their home, and they make sure we get a few nasty scrapes on the knees.

**23) **CABIN RAIDS: Like at every other summer camp in the world we do take part in the odd cabin raid, and being in the Hermes cabin, I tend to take part in these more than I'd like to admit. Now, Chiron frowns upon us that do these things like steal the Aphrodite cabin's most fancy clothes and hang them from the climbing wall. But really; cabin raids are a blast!

**24) **DEMIGOD PLUS DEMIGOD EQUALS: Now here's a question that arises a lot more than you'd think; what happens when two demigods have kids? Now this, of course, is a question that I had to do a lot of routing around in the camp's records to find the answer, not saying where that got me. But, if turns out if really depends on the parents of the kid. I'll use one of the well-known couples around camp; Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase. Now, they haven't had kids _yet_, but if they did the kid would inherit snippets of their parent's abilities, like they'd be fairly smart, but not as smart as Annabeth, and they'd be a good swimmer, but probably wouldn't be able to control the water, like Percy. There have been no reports of these types of kids ever coming to camp, but that doesn't mean it's never happened.

**25) **DRAMA: Take a bunch of teens and throw them in a camp for a couple months and you end up with a bunch of unneeded drama. Of course, this mostly occurs with the children of Aphrodite, but there's always the oddball out. Say, when I release this…report, it will most likely follow with a slew of drama for me, maybe the odd fight, but hey, it's totally worth it.

**26) **LOST MORTALS: From pizza delivery guys, to mail men, to the Bell TV person, we get a lot of lost mortals wander into camp. Usually the magical boundaries keep them out, but when they do find their way onto the campgrounds you can't help but mess with them. Give them a drachma and have a pizza party, or trick them into installing the TV onto your bunk. Not that I've done any of these things…

**27) **HAIR-DYE: Now, I like my hair colour a little too much to dye it, but there are plenty of campers who enjoy switching it up once in awhile. For instance, I got this friend, also in Cabin Eleven, who enjoys bright streaks. She's done everything from blue, to purple, to bright red, to even a rainbow. Half the time I'm forced to help her get it out if it looks awful, or to just chop it off, but no matter what, she tends to get some odd glances from the head table at meal times.

**28) **CITY RUNS: Just like shopping trips, city runs do occur and they're dangerous. The camp does run out of rations and such once in awhile and it takes more than just Argus to get what we need. I've never been on one of these runs, since they're given to campers who either _really_ piss off Chiron or Mr. D (like the Conner and Travis) or just need to get out more (I'm not even going to give an example for fear of people coming after me). So thankfully, I've never had to suffer the either dull or dangerous ordeal.

**29) **CREEPY CAMPERS: Every group has their creepers. Whether they're guys that do nothing but play video games at home or girls that really need a social life, they _creep me out!_ They just stand there watching you half the time and when they actually talk to you it's just…awkward…

**30) **PEOPLE WITH MONSTROUS FACES: To put it simply; _ugly people._ I like to think of myself as a nice person so I just tend to avoid these people and not make fun of them either to their faces or behind their back. But trust me, with Conner and Travis as siblings it's _not_ easy! Sometimes I find myself laughing at the most ridiculous comments.

**31) **PERIODS: Yes girls, just `cause us half-bloods run around all day fighting off monsters does _not_ mean that we don't succumb to the depression and down right inconvenience of _periods._ Guys, sorry, for your benefit I won't go into great detail with the suckiness of periods, but seriously, consider yourself lucky cause they _suck_! Where to start? Well, changing pads and tampons can get…awkward when you're on a quest, that's why most of us are on birth-control, to regulate this shit. Not to mention the cramps; oh gods…well, let's just say they can get…distracting when you're running for your life…

**32) **TEENAGE PREGNANCY: A rare occurrence, yes, and usually when it does happen it's kept secret, but lucky you, I have my methods of finding out stuff that I shouldn't know. The last time I heard of a camper getting pregnant was just before the Titan War. The details are fuzzy, but it seems the unfortunate girl was a daughter of Aphrodite (big surprise, eh?) and the idiotic father was a son of Apollo (again, big shocker…). Anyways, the girl was hidden away for awhile, I guess `cause Chiron didn't want the camp to loose its reputation of being 'youthful' and 'innocent.' Good luck with that dude.

**33) **HOW IT ALL STARTED: This is a question that springs up a lot; How did Camp Half-Blood begin? Well, the answer is really simple. You see, after Hercules was named a 'great hero' it became obvious that his teacher must also be great. That teacher being Chiron. Zeus then declared that he wanted all of his children to become great heroes just as Hercules and Perseus did. And so it was for a time that only the children of Zeus were granted the privilege (or inconvenience) of training with Chiron, but then the other gods grew jealous and threatened war if Chiron did not also take their children, so Camp Half-Blood was created. It was a place of a sanctuary for the demigods; a place that they could train in absolute safety and away from danger's arms. It started off small, with only one or two cabins, but as more and more half-bloods were claimed more cabins were built until we had the camp that you know from Percy's tales. Now that Percy made his special 'request' to the gods more cabins are being built and camp is growing as the months pass by. Not everyone likes it, but they usually keep their complaints to themselves for fear of facing Percy's wrath. Personally I don't mind the change, it's actually better for us Hermes kids because now the children of Minor gods have their own cabins and therefore don't take up our floor space. It's still over-crowded, with unclaimed, but typically once they reach thirteen they'll be moving out to a cabin of their own.

So there you have it; 33 things they fail to mention about our little summer camp we like to call Camp Half-Blood. So yeah, we're faced with quite a lot a torments to deal with, but it's all worth it for the fun we have and the good times we share. So right now you might be wondering something like, 'Why the Hades is a daughter of Hermes telling us mortals about this camp?' Well, to tell you the truth, I don't know, I was just getting really bored healing from all the…injuries I get. (I probably deserved half the stuff; you know between Travis, Conner, and me, we tend to have half the camp after us.) Anyways, another reason being you never know if either A) You'll be claimed as a half-blood, in which case, I wish you luck, or B) For one reason or another you end up at camp; either if it's `cause you get lost, or `cause you're somewhat like our oracle; Rachel Dare. For the rest of you this may just be a fun read to bide your time and if that's the case consider yourself lucky, this is one place that I'm forced to agree with Percy. No matter how much fun it may sound or how much of a rush you might get sometimes, being a half-blood _sucks! _I've watched countless friends die because of who they are. The only reason I'm still alive today is because I'm not that big of threat and thanks to that I can experience what I have and tell you what I have.

Okay, my siblings are pestering me for hogging the computer (Shh, Chiron doesn't know we have it) so I'll wrap this up. Well, I guess there's not much more to say except too keep an eye out for monsters, and if you see a kid running down a New York street decked out in battle armor give them a hand, `cause it's probably some half-blood running from a monster, as always. Oh, and one last thing, if you do ever get the chance to come to Camp Half-Blood consider this your warning to stay away from my siblings, and me for that matter, we have a little too much fun, if your know what I mean.


End file.
